Losing Stress

I'm a easy tense person.
I stress up easily.
I gave myself high expectation.
And never did I meet the expectation.

I don't like to lose.
Whenever I felt I was losing, I felt lonely.
I felt empty.
And I started to look down on myself.
I felt disappointed with myself.

I always believe I can do better than anyone.
But I felt I'm the worse among them.
They have what I desire.
No matter how hard I tried,
or even I made it,
I'm not appreciated.
I'm not praise.

I have high ego.
When I think I'm the best,
it seems I'm lying to myself.
I find this self-motivation become a lie.

I just want to win.
I wanted to be praise.

I'm the only son.
I want to make my mum proud.
But I can't just stay at her expectation.
I must reach to my expectation.

I'm really stressed.
I don't who can I turn to.

I need to relief myself.
I want to hear praises.